Like your not your full resourceful adult self?
This is because when a pattern is triggered you subconsciously regress back to the age you was when the pattern was created, often a child version of ourself that felt unsafe and overwhelmed in the moment so naturally suppressed how they felt or expressed how they felt and didn’t get regulated after.
This can trigger anxiety when we aren’t speaking up or expressing how we feel because we learned it wasn’t safe to when we first experienced it.
This doesn’t necessarily mean we was under physical threat, but we might not have been attuned with a parent to help us experience our feelings and hold space for us to express them without judgment.
This creates the inner wounded child that splits off and is stuck in that moment. Feeling and thinking the same thing forever.
Then whenever a present life experience matches the thoughts of the situation “They are ignoring me” “they are disrespecting me” etc we automatically regress back to that wounded child part with the same thoughts and feelings and same capacity to deal with the situation.
Sometimes we will project this story onto situations because that wounded child is begging to be healed and will keep coming up and surfacing, repeating the pattern until it gets the validation, attention and nurturing it needs.
We naturally seek this in others because that’s exactly what the child needed back then. This is why we tell others about how we feel and repeat the story to them.
Problem is that other people don’t see the wounded child they see the adult self and might not have the compassion you’re looking for.
The only person who can tend to the wounded child is you. When you explore the pattern, give yourself the attention, validation and nurturing you didn’t receive.
If this is too overwhelming to explore on your own then that’s when working with someone like myself can be invaluable.
Any pattern of emotion or behaviour you notice within yourself will be destined to repeat forever until you heal the wound.
Please believe that once you heal the wound you’ll break the pattern FOR GOOD. Contd..