A lot of people get confused with trauma because they think something terrible must have happened but it’s not about what happened but what didn’t happen after.

The lack of validation of our feelings, not being seen or heard, not having our feelings regulated by our parents because they couldn’t handle their own let alone ours.

If you experience anxiety there’s a very high chance your parents didn’t have healthy emotional regulation when you were growing up.

Your parents may have been stressed, anxious, depressed, absent or just completely unaware because they had never learned either.

Kids will often mirror their parents nervous system. Most likely their mothers.

My mum was stressed to the max with life, at time’s experienced depression so my natural stress response is to disconnect and shutdown how I feel when I get overwhelmed with how I feel or life.

I get lots of parents message me about their kids experiencing anxiety but if I work with the kid I also have to work with the parents so they learn how to attune to their nervous system and regulate themselves.

Otherwise any work done with the kid will be undone when the kids body reads their parents body signalling threat as they struggle to deal with their own feelings.

Our bodies are always talking to each other. Signalling cues of safety or danger.

Tune into your body, follow your breath and then notice what your body is communicating to you. Is it noticing safety, threat or perhaps nothing and feeling disconnected?

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